Sometimes you meet new people, sometimes it’s someone you’ve known forever but maybe lost touch for awhile, that person turns your world upside down. You’re head over heels for him and he is pretty much all you think about. You see his face pop up on your phone when he calls, your heart skips a beat and those butterflies in your tummy, that you once thought had all perished start flapping their little wings and you overthrown by this feeling you haven’t had in years. Then, you find out, this guy… someone you’ve known forever, is with someone else. He says he’s unhappy…you listen to the sob stories, offering empathy and comfort. He keeps coming back, playing with your child having as much fun as they are,
telling you he loves you. Saying he had always loved you since high school. Says you’re perfect, beautiful, a goddess. Everything a girl longs to hear. He treats you like royalty. But… he goes home to her every night. You wonder that the hell you’re doing. “This isn’t me…I’m no homewrecker. I’m a good person.” You tell yourself over and over that you shouldn’t talk to him anymore. You need to leave him alone. You need to let him go. Let him figure his shit out. But then … your phone chimes notifying you have a text message. It’s a message from him. You open it to find a link to YouTube and its a song that he said reminds him of you. It’s soft, sweet, and its a band you’re not familiar with. He’s well versed on the grunge rock you loved in high school and more. He brings you places you’ve never been, to shows of bands you’ve never heard… rubs your feet, treats you in a way that makes you so happy that you’re sure you’ve found the one. But then……….CRASH!!!!!!!! He starts working things into a conversation about not wanting to hurt his significant other after he kept you from going back to the guy that fathers your only child, kept you from moving on. Everyone you try for a relationship with gets run off by his manipulation over you…the power he has. You’re isolated, alone and depressed. He swoops in, pretty much moves in with you after he states he’s moving across the country. You get a taste of what you’ve been wanting for 3 years. And it disappears as fast as it arrived. Then you realize it was all a lie. You’ve been played like a fiddle in your own band. He plucks the strings such an aggressive and strategic way the music masks the pain…serves as a distraction while your strings begin to fray. But you’re still caught up in the melody…the way the notes bleed together bringing a nostalgic comfort that you’ve been searching for your entire life…it feels like magic and nothing else matters. And then…it’s gone. All feelings of security, and safety have been snatched from your fingertips so quickly your skin blisters. You’re not the one. Never were, never will be. It was all a ruse to bring you close to fulfill some bullshit high school fantasy. Pulling you from your family and friends by relentlessly shining a spotlight on their flaws, and sabotaging your every chance at happiness. But you still love him and just can’t fathom why or how this one person, whom seems like the worst kind of person… has such a grasp on you’re damaged and beaten little heart. He isn’t whom he portrayed himself to be. He’s a lost soul and its time to put away the flashlight. It’s not your job to help him find it. It’s time you pick up the broken pieces of your heart and soul and try to fit them back together. It’s time to think about someone other than the one that kicks you while you’re face down in the dirt. You’ve made mistakes, you’ve said some things you will never be able to take back …but it’s time to forgive yourself and move the fuck on and stop beating yourself up for losing someone that was never yours to begin with. Good bye. It’s over. Forever. It’s time to burn the past to make room for the future.