Affiliation and impersonation, consolation and determination lead to unification
Manipulation disguised as adoration then fertilization and insemination.
Realization followed by termination in with justification in fear of deformation.
Now deviation, defamation, consolidation, revocation. Humiliation. Mortification.
Regret and devastation.
Say what you want about me, but the moment someone says something about my son, I will lose my shit. My son has autism. Although he is making major strides in therapy, He is considered non-verbal. He does things that most kids do, bites off more than he can chew, literally, which is something he did this evening.
Before i get to the point of this story, i want to share that my child is brilliant. At least he is to me. I’ve witnessed this child do things well beyond his years, and signs of extreme intelligence. I’ve watched him compose music on a keyboard, sing complicated songs and riffs at as young as 18 months, at 11 months and was almost potty trained as well… my son is different, but not less. He’s important and amazing. Just because it seems like he isn’t hearing what your saying, doesn’t mean he’s not listening. He is. He knows when people are talking about him. He knows he’s different and doesn’t need people, especially adults whom he trusts, to point these things out which is precisely what happened tonight.
We’re sitting in the living room having dinner. (Not our usual routine, but on occasion, we will) i made my son a corn dog and sliced it up into bite sized pieces. (I’m not certain if his father didn’t feed him as recently as he had claimed, but my son looked and said “eat” the second i had him in my arms.)
And immediately my son started shoveling pieces into his mouth. I guess one was a bit bigger because he was trying to swallow, and he gagged, then chewed a couple times tried to swallow again and gagged. At that point, a needless, senseless, insensitive comment was thrown out there by another adult in the room. “Now i don’t understand, why you say he’s so smart, why would he do that? ” i tell the person that the comment hurt my feelings and i get accused of being overly sensitive. Then it keeps on coming. “You say he’s brilliant, he’s just another kid”
Fuck you. You’ve known him for 6 months. I’ve known him for 6 years. His entire life. You’re nothing special. You have good qualities, but this particular flaw of inadvertently tearing those around you down for no good reason is going to be the death of ‘us’.
Just because you have a thought, doesn’t mean you have to share it. There is something called tact. A skill you’re in dire need of aquiring. Insulting people isn’t going to change their opinions. You can’t force an idea. Being the mother of a child with autism comes with enough challenges and emotional turmoil. I don’t need a loved one to lasso me every time i hey to the top on the wall only to yank me down into the mud. You insult my son, there will be hell to pay.